phd i hate writing thesis

Forget about work, life, family, and all the other stuff. I have reached a stage where I absolutely hate the project and don’t know what to do. There are so many times over the many, many years a PhD can take when you will be tested, mentally and physically. The struggle is so real. Instead, I would defend my dissertation to spite everyone who had ever told me to enroll in a graduate program because I was “smart” and smart people should just drop out of society and go to school forever, apparently. So leaving can feel like failure, because you haven't achieved what you set … (Hell- I’d even go to the President!). This is a fantastic answer and I think it answers the question I raised here: I don't consider a stopped PhD is a "career interruption". Why? Hope you don’t mind if I share this fellow dissertators. That does look difficult:-). You think you’ve got it then it slips out of focus. I run the risk of them removing me from the course, but I have no intention of not finishing the damn thing and submitting it elsewhere. But then again I'm not an employer. They have no idea how hard it is to keep motivated. I’m in my 3rd year of the “dissertation” and I think my committee is unnecessarily making me jump through all of these hoops when they’ve let other students in my group pass on through with much less complicated projects. I do often have anger however. Writer's block is very real, an extremely painful. Perhaps this comment is ill-conceived, but I'm wondering if there's likely to be any consequences to the supervisor/advisor if none of the solutions presented here manifest, and whether this could be used as bargaining power in case things turn sour. Pull through!” This shit isn’t easy. Already mentioned in the other answers, but I'm repeating it here since suggestion 1 doesn't really work if it turns out the research you're working on won't lead to a dissertation. I will not crack under pressure (in a way that is visible to them anyway…LOL!). Derrida, hate, and stupidity, in the practice of thesis writing. BULL SHIT! Coffee and non-stop carbs aren’t cutting it anymore. Feeling I have to “fight”, t is better than feeling a victim – despite actually being victimized… be my ‘mini me’, or else! As with suggestion 2, make sure your committee is clearly aware of what work you intend to do. But that feeling is not nice is it? Given that it has already been 5 years, I suspect this plan should involve you finishing your current work, writing a dissertation, and graduating. Get a hobby, if you don't already have one, or restart a hobby, if you've put it to the side, and do that instead of thinking about your thesis and your job all the time. . But sometimes you make it really, really easy to hate you. Building cool stuff or writing a fascinating and concise piece of computer software is just euphoric. But when I open my document, even if I just tell myself: “just finish this one paragraph” (not exactly a major task), I get full blown rigor mortis paralysis. i am cursing te time when i decided to go for it and wish i could change it. It’s OK to hate your subject, whatever it is. A PHD program is challenging, and as with anything else in life taking care of your health (and mental health) should be a top priority. I felt similarly when I was near the end of my PhD. For all I know, maybe they were never there. Finishing a dissertation and going through the the whole process isn`t so easy and fun as people depict and think of it. All my empathy- sympathy and complete understanding goes out to you! To Done- and (research)…. Do you wake up every morning trying to summon the energy to open that document, the one that you despise with every fiber of your being, and type more words without puking all over your computer screen? I want this…..badly! ergo- COULD and can nver do! I literally felt like a contract employee and not a PhD researcher. In fact, most PhD thesis are usually more than 5 chapters(RE: write a thesis or writing a thesis). Dave, somewhat more colourfully, calls this phase “Screw you thesis!”. This is exactly what I needed to read tonight. Please be careful of the legal consequences, if any. As seems so often to be the case, my adviser too is indifferent about my project. i was laughing so much at this entire thread. It might feel like hell, but it will be over at some point. i got here by googling “im dying my thesis is killing me” XD. Advisor is unhappy with M.Sc. LOVE is: persistence-hope-and a way to focus on other things to make the pain It is real and it happens to almost everyone. 5 months! It’s really comforting (and at the same time terrifying) to see that I’m not alone in situation like this. Fight it! Do you hate working in the units you're required to use (mm vs inch, ml vs oz, whatever). Reframe and reprise. I feel your pain. They can have it. Go back to your thesis with a fresh attitude (not feeling guilty or late). I agree about scary looking but not at all. Please. cause ya’ bought yar ticket ta’ ride…. Всем привет на одном из сайтов нашел дестелятор теперь думаю преобрести папе, только вот не знаю про эту фирму ничего, как вы считаете стоит взять I am now a single mother with two young boys and we had no life insurance and no mortgage insurance (we were both students so there was little if any disposable income). My committee keeps telling me to add this or that, or change this or that, and I just don’t have the time!!!! late to the party as well….lemme tell you, i have pulled every friggin’ trick outta the bag to try to finish this f@#$ing dissertation….i have virtually/figuratively/literally disconnected myself from the world and every distraction that exists: no dating, no internet, only dissertation work group dates, omg omg. dissertation writing! You will think no one is as bad as you are at this whole ‘academic shit.’ But, beyond all reason….keep going. I’m lucky, I have a pretty good and understanding supervisor, but God I hate this piece of paper sitting beside me with all the editing marked down the column. "Their hunt the roast vegetable sauce": can you parse this? Clearly, I’ve never recovered…. Great Start April! I’m glad I walked. However my hate for the project only grew with time and now I am in my fifth year. I don’t have spite. But I was stuck because I couldn’t remember what I was doing in grad school in the first place. I have an index card that I keep at my workstation. So when I come home from work, I have no life because I have to spend time on this worthless dissertation. A year later, things are starting to feel normal again. The job market all over the country ain’t that bad right now. (When I wanted to quit, I devoted all of my energy in honor of Blairmo’s 1/23/2017 post). What does that tell you?). 15 minutes. But I know better now, and whether I go backwards, forwards or just stand still, I’m still burning the shit out of myself. Keep on going! nada, nary a reply….should i interpret that to mean she hates what i did in my final chapter? Been awhile I had a good laugh. It’ll show you how to write a PhD. Hey all,I’m so glad I found this post !!! I never imagined I’d hate my thesis but I DO! The other one nitpicks at grammar and has a view of how all dissertations should be and mine doesn’t fit it. Signed up for 8 weeks 1-1 with my chair to force myself. there were other students working / helping on it too…. Our university has been going through ‘transition’ and each of us in the program are having to deal with a prima-donna! What is the strategy to identify natural experiment as a PhD student? Finish line, come to me baby. I feel like I don’t even want to tackle the small hills. Last year I begrudgingly accepted that my quest for a TT job in history was over (six years since graduation, three of which I spent as a VAP and three as an adjunct) but I have found that I am now EAGER to leave this industry. The difference is in the type of lifelong learning. They too need such motivational love. Some personal issues do contribute to the stress as well. Yet, to date- I have never quit something I started. Here is why spite won’t work for me: over time, my dissertation project has become so watered down and generic that it is now a meaningful, embarrassing piece of drivel that will not add anything to the literature. My brain is putting up a terrible fight dragging my body kicking and screaming to the desk … but with so much to lose, it’s now or never. I’m not alone, but I’m still pissed about it. Thanks for your two cents! Somebody help me find some motivation. Thanks for making me laugh! I love this piece! The ball, to a particular amount as soon as the wheel halts. I saw what my options were, and I decided that “no thank you” was how I wanted to respond. We did it! I’ve been thru Ca, 5 I surgeries in the past year, what else, but I want the degree!!! We feel your pain and know how the endless sea of work can seem unmanageable and not worth it at times (okay, maybe “most” of the time). That will all help you focus on one thing at a time. It is never too early to get clear on the requirements for finishing your thesis. She went on to say she was ‘withdrawing as my chair’ because of my communication or lack of it. Just be willing to relocate to an area of need for your skill set and you will be all good. . Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Well said. I started unraveling mysteries. I am writing you this letter to let you know how I feel about you. Just needed me to stand on my head and relate to a world differently configured. Can my advisor take away my project because my husband died? And work the problem. Okay perhaps it’s time to regroup and give it another go … take the dust off these past few months and end the year with a good start to 2014. And the research is also relevant and important. Hate has helped me too though, hate and exasperation. I can’t find anyone within a 200 mile radius who is going through the same thing. Oh, one more thing. When I defended my dissertation, they suggested, I would finally be able to stop earning the slave wages they paid me, which of course was all I deserved until then. Good luck! Holy crap, you have no idea how badly I needed to hear that someone else went through what I am dealing with right now! Once you get your degree, take some time off. Everything is a learning experience, particularly those things that feel like failure initially. after gathering all my courage, i resumed my field work today. Stay tuned for how late-stage Humanities PhD school turned me into a raving lunatic who found refuge in spite. I went on the job market for TWO YEARS! Pay attention to their focus and methodology (for example, if you're more comfortable with the concepts behind cognitive behavioral therapy, seek out someone who practices that). — I would wake up angry, spend the day seething in my own bitterness, and go to sleep (if I could sleep) sullen and resentful. Consumers nonetheless don’t know which facility to trust. At this point I’m just doing it because I’m so close, I’ve come this far, and I really want to prove my doubters wrong, ALWAYS have that Ph.D. in my back pocket, and to make my wife, son, and families proud. Now I hand it in, wait for a reply, change it to suit whoever made the comment, and hand it in again. Thank you. You can continue working on it now, get it out of the way, and push through the negative until you get the results you want. I HATE IT! Individual cases don’t matter to them. I’m very late to the party but I’m glad I found this site…I HATE MY DISSERTATION…I’m ready to jump off a cliff writing and re-writing and being told I’m not being clear..I just think its an exercise in pure torture. Got too much homework? So the dream job I was aiming for is actually probably not suited for me. Same goes for the comments. i’ve reached my breaking point with my dissertation. I wanted to scream. Whenever I get lost and ask him for advice, he would commonly uses the phrase “Do what the industry sponsor wants, keep him happy ”. I really just want to quit after 4.5 years in the program! Put it all down on "paper", if you have to. Couldn’t wait to get my mark back and instead got a See Me and then torn apart at the staff room door. I SPITE my supervisor, I SPITE every single person in my department asking me “how is you thesis going?”. so, a lot of people choose to be bad because it’s kinda easy. Swapping out our Syntax Highlighter, Dealing with 'less than optimal' data or study designs. No one’s going to take my degree and no one’s going to take my belief that spite can, in the right situations, be awesome. I feel your pain and frustrations. Maybe set it aside for a while, forget about it, get some distance. Be prepared for the possibility of not hitting a perfect fit for yourself (and it's fine to ask for a referral if that's the case), but also give things a little time. As for the thesis, once you manage to emotionally and intellectually decouple that from the job, you might find salvageable material in there. Unfortunately, this is way more common than it should be. Compared to what I am doing now- very well researched stance to take!). Better late then never! What you wrote- simply put- PERFECT! Thanks I think I needed this today. I’ve been given a hard deadline of 3/31. But it amazes me the extent to which many academics dismiss Derrida as they figure if they can’t understand him, then no one must be able to. Help. I myself am also considering to stop a PhD after 3 years, but I ended up with a severe burnout and anxiety attacks. A Love/Hate Letter to my PhD Thesis. (1976). If you really want to do research, just not on this topic, then I fear the only way is forward. How unwise is it to change fields/advisors late in my PhD? But still, the game is fair and if you’re good enough that’s all that really matters. Now I am depressed, lost, and hardly do anything. I mean that’s just a lot to go through. Oh I so needed this article now…..I am not sure where I am going to send my spite to at this moment. All things others who haven’t gone through the same journey have experienced and think are normal. 15 Years teaching in New York City Schools…. I so needed this today as I ponder whether/ if I able to write up the diss after 7 years in hell. 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